Attempting to sum up in words how people and their culture co-exist is one of the most difficult jobs. What could help though, is using the luck of being born in that specific city and try doing it anyway, telling from a born and bred kind of point of view what makes, in this case, the Romans so Roman. Is it the funny loudness? The kindness? The light-hearted way of just being? Maybe the confidence? Or the unconscious directness? Perhaps all of them. I just know that this piece I’m writing feels almost like standing in front of a mirror because explaining Rome and their people is something I love to do, but this is absolutely going to be a true entertainment, since, well, I’m one of them!
“Ma che te frega!”
That “don’t worry” mentality that I’m so fond of, is one of the strongest cornerstones of Roman culture. If something goes wrong or the stress takes over, there’s only one way to react and that is to try to minimize the suffering and the queasy feeling with just four words; “ma che the frega” (but what do you care). It’s not about indifference or rudeness, it’s more about trying to put a patch on things and coming back to them later, because if there’s nothing you can do at that moment, why would you just lose your mind about it? The “ma che the frega” way of life is why Romans can joke about, pretty much, everything and why they don’t mind to cheer you up, even if it’s not their place to do so. I joined this way of living early in my life, and probably that’s why I can, most of the time, easily cheer myself up.
Traffic & Temper
We get mad, but we calm down straight away. Well, we actually lose our mind for a few seconds, followed by a few minutes of thinking about it, probably realizing that we were wrong (lightly admitting it), or trying to think of a better way of saying what we said while angry. It usually goes away quick, depending naturally on what caused the whole storm; which very often is traffic. I always, and I can swear to this with a judge in front of me, encounter at least one Roman shouting or gesturing from his/her car/scooter towards another; and I guess this has to be one of the cultural “traits” you can’t find in a book, or have directly explained. The act of placing your hand with the palm facing up while driving, is probably an automatic motion any Roman has within since he was born, a stress relieving sort of movement that soothes the soul, calms it down when exasperated. I do get mad when I drive, but it goes so quick and it’s such an unconscious experience, that I don’t even realize it.
“Famme magna, và”
Food, food and even more food. Any Italian has two staple priorities: family and food. We love our moms, our husbands or our relatives as much as we love our local food and in Rome we absolutely don’t joke about this. From our mid morning snack with pizza rossa, or bianca with mortadella, to a thin pizza Margherita for dinner. We are very delicate with our stomachs, and not because we can’t handle a big quantity of food (see: Italian weddings that lasts up to two days) but simply because that hint of hypochondria is what makes us so unique, but I’ll get back to this in a bit. “Famme magnà, và” (let me eat at this point) is a sentence used when things are not going great or when you don’t mind about anything else anymore and the only thing you have left to do is devouring delicious things. We eat so we can be happy, literally. We eat our mamma’s food because it makes us go back in time, we eat not only for nutritional value, we eat because culturally and traditionally, food is not just something on a plate, but a strong, although invisible, connection between us and who we are.
Our Beloved Dialect
That dragged “C”, that soft “R”, words that just sound rough and round; the Roman dialect is fun, rustic and, yes, a bit intimidating. With its words cut in half and others that just completely change, this dialect can be overwhelming and sound like gibberish, even if a bit familiar with the Italian language; my nonna from my dad’s side was a perfect example of proper Romanesco, and I can still hear her say words that if I would pronounce them out loud to you, would sound quirky and incomprehensible at best. It is also truly amusing how we Romans try to force ourselves to speak in perfect Italian, when the occasion asks for it, without really succeeding at it, since our accent is really strong. As I always say, you will always recognize a Roman for his C, for his openly pronounced A, how he uses double letters in a word and how long they resist before they will unconsciously “cut” a word. We can’t help it!
“(…) a person proud, warm, kind-hearted and amusing just like a Roman can be, will never, never give in to sadness.”
“Coprite, me raccomando“
Another important feature of Italians (including Romans) is the meticulous attention towards health and the fear of the famous colpo d’aria. We are quite hypochondriac and we care a lot about what’s going on in our body, the pharmacist working at our local pharmacy is practically part of the family; to not talk about how many times we could go to our medico di famiglia (family doctor). It’s something that I could describe as being in between sweet and overemphasized, two of the words that, I think, could easily sum up my culture. So, any time an Italian/Roman comes to you, for example, on a September evening (but also in full summer) and says to you “better to cover yourself because you might get hit by air” just simply follow his advice, your neck and spirit will be very thankful.
Funky Movements
Romans are famous for their majestic poses, and no, I’m not talking about the wonderful statues you find in the city or the mezzi busti in the museums. We tend to assume comfortable positions and we love to make that clear. What do I mean? Think about a Roman on the phone: you can see him/her change his position at least ten times. Think about a Roman standing while chatting with friends or drinking a coffee al banco: body and hands move more than a sea during the storm. One detail makes me realize immediately that I’m dealing with a Roman, like myself: the leg. There’s this one movement, kind of a dance, kind of a twitch: while standing, one leg is straight to anchor you on the floor and the other one does this relatively fast “bending” like if it was following some sort of musical beat; that happens a lot, and I see it everywhere: from my dad to a random man buying his newspaper at the edicola. Obviously, let’s not forget about the hand gesture that in Rome becomes even more theatrical and some of them which we only have here are sometimes untranslatable, even if explained. One needs to be cleared and deserves to be known: the cucchiara, used when a concept is not clear and you want to shout it out, or to accompany and emphasize a situation. The “female spoon” (lit.), which is the wooden spoon used in the kitchen, works with putting your hand up, aligning your index finger with your nose and your thumb with your chin, keeping your hand slightly stretched while talking. As I said, we Romans are quirky.
That Unique Skill of Joking
We like to laugh, like any person in the world. But when we Romans do it, we do it properly, or at least we try. Jokes, barzellette, battute and our innate sense of humor make us (I think, and definitely not to brag) one of the funniest people in all of Italy. Light, breezy and without worries is how the Romans like to joke. We are able to make fun of ourselves when in a ridiculous situation but we can be very sensitive too, and that I can confirm, because you will never find a Roman that is not permaloso (touchy); so it’s kind of a very stable balance that can be broken in a few seconds if not realizing this. Keep in mind that the Romans can be very touchy, but they will definitely “hit” back when they can, and not in a bad way, but in a funnier and maybe a bit more edgier way. Don’t worry, because fortunately we don’t hold a grudge for too long, we’re too paciocconi (sweet and kind) to do so.
Playful Swearing
We aren’t perfect, obviously; but we try to make it look like it’s no big deal! We use our swear words like any other italian (and person in general), but we do have some more colorful expressions that aren’t well known in the whole boot, and every time I use them with somebody that is not from Rome, they usually look at me like I just spoke in a forgotten foreign language. That’s something that can’t be explained really, there are some sentences that mostly don’t make sense if translated or the whole context changes if converted in another language. One “insult” that I can use as an example, since it’s one of the most colorful is; “Te stacco le braccia e te ce meno” (I’ll tear out your arms and I will hit you with them), to let you get the gist. There are tons more, but I’m not sure if I should dig into those, or keep the lid on them, since they are yes, truly funny, but quite excessive. Even when mad and fuming, a Roman will always find a way to be controversial and hilarious with his words, be sure of that.
“Ao”, “Boh” & Co.
Trying to talk with a Roman, in dialect, when not familiar with our way of speaking can be really tricky. It’s not only about the “grammar” of our accent, but most of it is the whole “how does it work”? Knowing the words is a thing, trying to put them in the right context is another pair of shoes and this is something you acquire with time and with getting used to speaking with Romans daily. There’s so many “sounds” and diphthongs that are absolutely mystical for a foreigner or even an italian from another region. Ao and boh are probably two sounds that by now are quite famous, but if I would use them talking fast, they will probably be misunderstood, as in “what was that?”. We could call them “inter layer” but also a strong fundament of how we actually speak. They sound like noises, not even words and I challenge you to count them next time you’re in the city. You won’t believe how many times you’ll hear these. Including the super famous “daje“!
Pane ar Pane, Vino ar Vino
Directness and that “no wasting time” attitude are also Roman treats, but let me explain better: we’re still very conscious of other’s feelings and we keep that into account, at the same time we like to maintain a human contact that is real, authentic even if too direct and noisy. We aren’t known as snooty at all, and that’s another wonderful trait that sets us apart. You can talk to us about everyhting, we will judge, but we will never let you feel less than us, never. Romans like to share their pleasures, moments of happiness as well as ones of sadness or difficulty. We have a big heart, we love to help, we tend to be extremely kind and truly heartwarming. But if you catch a Romano in a bad mood, just give him/her time to get back to being who he/she is, because no matter what: a person proud, warm, kind-hearted and amusing just like a Roman can be, will never, never give in to sadness.
And there’s no better ending to this post than the famous words of Obelix; “Sono Pazzi Questi Romani” (These Romans are Crazy).
Copyright: Elisa Colarossi
roman gal goes around 